Stranded

A man was stranded on the proverbial deserted Pacific island for years,

Finally, one day a boat came sailing into view, and the man frantically waved and drew the skipper's attention. The boat came near the island and the sailor got out and greeted the stranded man.

After a while the sailor asked, "What are those three huts you have here?"

"Well, that's my house there."

"What's the next hut?" asked the sailor.

"I built that hut to be my church."

"What about the other hut?"

"Oh, that's where I used to go to church."

Last Wish

 

Three hunters were out on a safari – an American, a Brit and an Israeli. They're captured by cannibals who start getting the cooking pots ready. The cannibal chief told the hunters they each can have ONE LAST WISH.

"What's your last wish?" he asked the American.

"I'd like a steak," he replied.

So the cannibals killed a zebra and served the American his steak.

"What do you want?" the cannibal chief asked the Brit.

"I'd like to have a smoke on my pipe," which they let him do.

Then the chief asked the Israeli, "What's your last wish?"

"I want you to kick my rear end."

"Be serious," said the top cannibal.

"C'mon, you promised," said the Israeli.

"Oh, all right," said the chief, who delivered the requested kick. Whereupon, the Israeli pulled out a gun, shot the chief and a few other cannibals while the rest ran away.

The American and the Brit were furious. "Why didn't you do that in the first place, so we wouldn't have had to go through all this?" they demanded.

Replied the Israeli, "What! Are you mad? The UN would have condemned me as the aggressor."