A Man is Walking

A man is walking past this house when a used condom comes flying out of the second story window and lands squarely on his head. Rather disgusted and absolutely furious, he goes up to the front door and starts pounding on it.

An elderly man opens it and asks him what caused him to knock so loudly.

The passerby asks, "Who's in your upstairs room?"

The elderly man answers, "I can't see how it's any of your business. Since you must know, my daughter and intended son-in-law are upstairs."

The passerby hands him the used condom and says, "Well, I just wanted you to know that your intended grandchild fell out the window!"

Bouncing on Daddy

A little boy wakes up three nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents' bedroom.

Finally, one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Every night I hear you and daddy making noise and when I look in you're bouncing up and down on him."

His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh.....well I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again."

The boy says, "That won't work."

His mom asks, "Why?"

The boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up!"