Helpdesk Nightmare

Tech Support: "I need you to right click on the Open Desktop."

Customer: "OK."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "OK. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write "click" and I wrote 'click'." (At this point the tech support had to put the caller on hold to tell the rest of the tech support staff what had happened. He couldn't however, stop giggling when he got back to the call.

Tech Support: "OK, did you type 'click' with the keyboard?"

Customer: "I have done something silly, right?"

Gay Men Have Baby

Two gay men decide that they want to have a baby, but they don't want to adopt because they want the baby to be as close to their own as possible.

So they both masturbate into a cup and have a doctor use their sperm to impregnate a female friend of theirs. Nine months later, the two men are looking at their baby in the hospital nursery. All of the babies are crying and screaming except theirs.

"Wow," one of the gay men says, "Our baby is the most well behaved one in here."

A nurse who happens to be walking by says, "Now he's quiet, but wait till we take the pacifier out of his arse!"

Cuckoo Clock

The other night Sam was invited out for a night with his colleagues. He promised his wife that he would be home by midnight. Well, the hours passed and at around 2:30 a.m., he headed for home. Just as he got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed three times. Quickly Sam realised his wife would probably wake up, so he cuckooed another nine times. He was really proud of himself, having a quick-witted solution, to escape a possible conflict.

The next morning his wife asked him what time he got in, and he told her twelve o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. So he really thought that he got away with that one! His wife then told him that they needed a new cuckoo clock. When Sam asked her why, she said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "phew", cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more and then said. "Yes, I'm safe for now."