Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
British involvement in a dangerous Middle East provocation
British involvement in a dangerous Middle East provocation: The Global March to Jerusalem, the latest high-profile stunt against Israel, involves the Muslim Brotherhood, Hamas and Iranian-linked elements, not to mention a significant British contingent
Sunday, February 26, 2012
The Magician and the Parrot
A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week, so the magician did the same tricks over and over again.
There was one problem. The captain's parrot saw the show each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table," or, "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?" The magician was furious, but couldn't do anything. It was after all, the captain's parrot. Then the ship sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the sea with, as fate would have it, the parrot.
They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and then another and then another.
Finally on the fourth day, the parrot could not hold back and said, "O.K., I give up. Where's the f**king ship?
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
All about examination
An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady, entered the doctor's office.
"We have come for an examination," said the young girl.
"All right," said the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off."
"No, not me," said the girl. "it's my old aunt here."
"Very well," said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue."
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Get my nails trimmed
Three dogs are sitting in the waiting room of a vets office. One is a poodle, one is a schnauzer and the other is a great Dane.
The poodle turns to the schnauzer and asks "Why are you here?"
The schnauzer responds, "I'm 17 years old. I don't see or hear very well. I've been having accidents in the house. My owner says I'm too old and sick so he brought me here to be put to sleep."
The schnauzer asks the poodle "Why are you here?"
The poodle responds, "I've not been myself lately. I've been especially high strung. I've been barking all the time, I've been snapping at people and I even bit one of the neighbour's kids. Nobody knows why this has been happening. My owner says he can't risk me biting somebody else so he brought me here to be put to sleep."
The poodle and schnauzer ask the great Dane why he is here.
The great Dane responds: "My owner is this beautiful runway model. Yesterday she was walking around the house naked when she suddenly bent down to pick up something she dropped. She was bent over and naked when nature took over and the next thing I know I'm on top of her doing the doggie thing. I couldn't help myself."
The poodle asks: "So she brought you here to put to sleep?"
"Oh, no…., I'm just here to get my nails trimmed."
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