Smile

An ingenious example of speech and politics is said to have occurred at the U.N. and to have made the world community smile.
A representative from Israel began: "Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses. When he struck the rock and it brought forth water he thought, 'What a good opportunity to have a bath!' He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water. When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Palestinian had stolen them."
The Palestinian representative jumped up furiously and shouted, "What are you talking about? The Palestinians weren't there then!"
The Israeli representative smiled and replied, "And now that we have made that clear I will begin my speech."

The Gospill

The pastor kept boring his congregation with sermon after sermon about baptism. Finally church leaders told him to preach on another subject the following Sunday. They chose the subject of pills. Certainly, they felt, there could be no connection between pills and baptism.
So the next Sunday the pastor began, "There are big pills and little pills, also bitter pills and sweet pills, cheap pills and expensive pills. Another pill is the 'gospill' - and that brings me to my real subject, baptism."